Since all of us are doing a lot of looking back and reminiscing, I was thinking about regret or things I would do differently if I had it to do over. There's
a few things I wish I could change, but if I could be in HS again, I think I would be more active in getting to know people, be involved in activities and causes and get more education. I don't think I would have married so young. I don't regret my kids, but just would have pursued some of my interests first.
Great topic! I have done well in my family, and their lives, so that they have what I missed. Being far from home (Tempe) and a void I have had. To be there much more often for family and friends, it makes all the difference. That is what I would have done differently.
If I could rewind the tape, I'd have been bolder and started speaking up sooner. One of my greatest regrets is not doing any kind of a career search. If I had, I think I would have chosen differently. I also would have started playing the bass guitar and taken voice lessons.
What I would do differently is to not have so much fear! It was so much a part of me that I didn't realize how strong it was until much later when I finally let go of it.
I would also not wait for permission - to grow up, to pick a university, to do lots of things I wanted to do. I unconsciously thought I needed permission and so waited for it. Of course, it never came. I finally gave myself permission, and this was liberating to say the least.
I would also love my sisters more. I am close to both now, but we fought like cats and dogs while growing up.
And in high school, I would want to have had a wider circle of friends :)
I rarely paid attention to anything in high school, especially my science classes. In 1986 I was transferred from sex crime to homicide. My first case was a woman who had been beaten to death. I remember going to the autopsy and being fascinated with the human body, all the things I could care less about twenty years prior. I also remember telling Dr. Tom Jarvis, one hell of a great pathologist, 'damn I wish I'd paid more attention in Mr. Flanagan's biology class.'
I'd reverse this and express gratitude that I did, at one point or another, stumble upon the best thing for me at the time, Like:
- Meeting my wife Judy through a best friend
- Taking that econ. course because my (History) advisor made me
- Joining Toastmasters to help deal with that introversion thing
- Taking an impossible bike ride that led to finding our dream cabin in the Rockies
- Doing neighborhood organizing work that led to finding a great graduate program and new career path
- Through dumb luck getting out of the market before the crash
- Listening to Judy more often than not which led to most of the best decisions we've made over the years (I still make all the important ones like how to save the world...)
- Leaving jobs when it was time for me to make the change rather than waiting till the employer downsized, etc.
There have been things I'd have done differently, with 20-20 hindsight:
- Persevered in Math
- Finished that speed reading program (so many books, so few lifetimes...)
- Appreciated those around me more, as co-workers, friends, relatives, etc. have so much to teach us whether we know it at the time or not
